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BMTimes >> Simple Jokes
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Sunday, November 22, 2009
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Carry on with the Bakwas -
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Bakwas number Ek
Brad Pitt and Vidya Balan get married
After marriage, lots of students gather at their home… why ???
Because her name becomes Vidya Pitt (vidyapeeth).
Bakwas number Do
Rahul Gandhi - Mom, aapaki wajah se meri shaadi nahi ho paaa rahi...
Sonia Gandhi - Kyun beta??
Rahul Gandhi - Har taraf to likha hai ki Sonia ko bahumat do.
Bakwas number Teen
BRUCE LEE was a great man
But after his sister gave birth to a baby he became an ordinary man...why?
Because he became
MAMU LEE!
Bakwas number Chaar
Santa and Banta are engaged in a discussion.
Santa - "If I drink coffee, I can't sleep!”
Banta -"How come? With me it's always the opposite. If I sleep, I can't drink coffee."
Bakwas number Paanch
One day Ravan went to a disco…and he fainted the moment he reached the place.
Guess why?
Because it was written on the gate that "Entry fee Rs.
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Office Humour
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A Dozen Lines of Office Wisdom
· Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.
· Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing.
· Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
· If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
· You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
· If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
· A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
· You can go anywhere you want to if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
· Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
· If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
· To err is human; to forgive is not company policy.
· You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.
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Thirteen is a funny number
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One
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
Two
I was so depressed that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said "On your mark...
Three
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Four
I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" He said, "I don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
Five
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Six
A recently fired stock trader said …
“This is worse than divorce…I have lost everything and I still have my wife…”
Seven
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
Eight
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.
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